I used to love my camera. I used to use it every day. Now I spent more time cleaning off the dust. And I couldn’t explain why. Until now, maybe…
The fact is, my DSLR is too bulky to carry when I’m hiking. It’s too bulky to take to work or carry around on a daily basis. I bought a point-and-shoot for that purpose, and I hardly ever remember that it’s in my bag. I recently considered selling up and replacing all my gear with a Panasonic GF1. Maybe that was the answer? But what if I don’t use that?
I’ve taken so few photos in the last few months that I’m actually considering selling my camera and lenses. I’ve just had no enthusiasm or even a desire to pick up the camera.
And then, lying in bed last night, I read something that really struck a chord with me:
“Could it be that we take pictures only during the happy cycles of our lives?”
The quote is from a book I’m reading about a middle aged guy who after going through a divorce decides to put his life on hold, learn to ride a motor bike, and bugger off around Europe for six months. Your typical mid-life crisis. (It’s a good read by the way.)
The sentiment really struck me. The author had not been taking photos on his travels, and it wasn’t until he met a couple who asked to see his photos that he realises this. He notes that he took lots of photos at university and when he was with his ex-wife, but not any more. He questions if “a photograph is only worth something when you have someone to share the memory with?”
I take photos when I travel because I can. It’s can’t be about the process and the end result because I wouldn’t be writing this if that was enough. But what about the memories? As I look back at the photos I’ve taken it’s clear to me that they could have been taken by anybody. There’s very little evidence that I was ever there. I take photos of my friends when I go hiking, but I’m questioning why now, is that about the memories, or is it just because they are there? It’s not conscious, and it’s not a slur on my friends; it’s about the reasons that I take photographs. Somewhere along the way I got lost in the mechanics of taking the photograph, and forgot about the reasons for taking them.
Something is clear to me now: I want the memories, and I’m going to make a conscious effort to make, and record them. If I have to go back to basics, ditch the SLR, in order to find them? So be it.
